You're so far away

I'm not sure if anything has really changed at all, but I feel like I have.  I'm getting frustrated right now and I keep wanting to blame the stagnation of life in Ellensburg.  I'm starting to really feel done with this place. I'm starting to feel like I'm ready to move on. But that's just it, I really don't like moving and I'm stubborn enough to not want to leave here just for the sake of not having to go somewhere new.  Getting my minor in Museum Studies is going to be a piece of cake, the only hard part is that its not going to be a fast process. I suppose if I crammed everything into next quarter (which is possible I suppose) I could just pick up and leave here around March.  But do I really want to do that? It will be all snowy and cold still... And what will I do about getting work? Gah... everything is so hard these days.
After completing my field school this past summer, I feel like I have everything I need to move on with my educational goals. What are these goals? They seem to be so fleeting and transparent these days.
I wish there was a way to just sign up for an adult life without having to establish one myself. A pre-made life... I'll take one of those. I'm not in the mood for doing all the work required to make my own life. Or can I just have someone else's? You know, if they aren't using it I'll just take it off their hands.
 Ellensburg has the same people that I know and love, and yet, they don't have the right people.  The people I have been so used to hanging out with just seem to be a bit boring and repetitive.  The flavor of friends isn't so new this year.  When I go to sit at the lunch table I feel like there is nothing for me there.  Before, I had certain things that I always looked forward to seeing at the usual hangout spots.  There was a thrill to it; there was a chase and and chance that those elusive friends might or might not be there. I feel like the real people I want to be near to are the ones who aren't in Ellensburg any more.  I suppose while I'm here I will just have to work with what I've got for now.  Maybe I'll just take this opportunity to bury my head into my schoolwork until I drown in it.  I'll make a few close acquaintances within my field of study and then I won't have to leave the building for anything except to go home in the evenings. My dog should appreciate my coming home at night. I love how she's always so happy to see when I'm home from school.

I'm sorry I smell like frosting

Common Ground Cupcakes and Coffee, Renton, WA

So I think I can officially qualify myself and admit that I am a true-cut cupcake addict.  What is it that takes over my mind when I see a cupcake shop? I could be starving or I could be violently ill, nothing stops me from entering a cupcake shop when I see one.  I'm a cupcake consuming juggernaut.  I've decided that I will accept nothing less than a tower of cupcakes for my birthday 'cakes' in the future. Any other reason I need for a cake, only cupcakes will be acceptable.


Frosted, Walla Walla, WA

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not going to be wearing cupcake earrings or cupcake print socks or a bra that makes my tatas look like frosted cupcakes... well, I'd consider the latter. But what I'm trying to say, there is a very thick and obvious line between enjoying these tasty morsels and being obsessed with the cute little mini-cakes they represent.  I will devour a cupcake in an instant before I or anyone else will have enough time to admire the cuteness of the object.  As I consume this bite of cake, I will admire the creativity and effort that has gone into the respectable appearance of it. It is a work of culinary art and really gets me excited about the flare and inspiration that has a major role in its recipe.
I submitted to a cupcake today. It really was a complete release and reliquishment of all of my power. This is not the first, nor last time this has happened or will happen.  Dammit I just love cupcakes and I will do anything it takes to get more!



That which comes next

So what happens when one loses sight of what they thought they were pursuing?  Well I thought studying to be an archaeologist and getting familiar with the museum management process would be nice and easy.  Funny thing, it was.  But now I'm utterly confused with what I'm going to do after my degree.  I'm not doing very well at supporting myself at this point and now I'm treading water in this sink hole called my life.  So I've come up with a comforting process of reviewing all of my past aspirations such as being a teacher, CGI artist, entomologist, ballerina, police officer, and even the military.  I agree that is a very colorful list.
I've been lingering on the thought of the military though.  That's one thing I very nearly went through with after high school.  I never did it because I wasn't really healthy enough and I didn't feel comfortable signing my life away without being able to make real adult decisions.  But now... I feel differently.  The structured lifestyle is seeming to be much more appealing.  I've never wanted a typical 9 to 5 job, but I would like to have a career that is very regularized and predictable.  Archaeology, although very non-9to5ish, is not always predictable, and is sometimes very unproductive.  I like to assume the military has figured out how to be somewhat productive.
So now I have to ponder "can I do it?" and the easy answer to that is yes.  There will be physical challenges that I never dreamed of. Luckily the mental challenges don't scare me.
Treadmill here I come...

June bugging

Summer is going to be a very interesting time.  Hopefully I can get my shit together in the next week.  I'm currently finishing up the quarter with final essays, I've gotta pay some bills, and I still haven't found a replacement roommate.  Not that I've got anything against females--okay, yeah, I do have a prejudice against females; but I really don't want to room with one. Unfortunately it seems like no one else wants female roommates either because they are all out there hungering for flesh and a place to live. I've only had one guy call me about the room and he immediately detracted his interest when he heard I was a chick (his loss).  I figure every time someone calls me and says "yeah i'm interested in the place" it actually means that they think I'm a stuck up bitch like the rest of my female cohorts and they'd rather eat class than live with me.  Ugh... all you cunts ruin it for the rest of us.  Okay, I got that rant out; I'm  done.
So its becoming harder and harder to initiate anything and everything at school.  I wish there was an energy drink for educational morale.  I want to do an extra curricular project on campus, I want to get my Museum Minor ducks in a row, and I want to start getting better grades.  However, things are so sluggish in my head that I'm having a hard time keeping my attention focused on the task at hand. I keep trying to deviate from my work with all the distractions.  I remember last year when being focused on a task was no problem because I was in love with the new topics and concepts.  I'm starting to feel the repetition within my department.  I can't remember what class is what these days because they all feel like the same damn thing for hours and hours everyday.  I'm afraid that this is going to become a bigger issue in my life.  What happens when I get settled into my career dream job (whatever that is at this point) and I get fed up with the repetition and the same thing year in and year out? If I could just win the lottery and stay in school for the rest of my life and get a new degree every few years or so, ah that would be great.  I just want to learn everything.

By the way, I'm super excited that I have an exam mini essay to write about these lovelies.  Compound eyes are primitive sight sensory tools that no other member of the same family, Nicoletiidae, have evolved to.  They much on starches such as paper, adhesive, cloth, hair, and dandruff. Nom nom nom, the silverfish are coming to eat all of your stuff! Museums beware...

Disappointed devil

I've been waiting almost a decade for the third installment of an awesome video game, and now its here.  Excitement ensues? Well ya, but there is a bitter aftertaste to this dessert.
Diablo 3 has announced a new feature by which players will have the ability to choose between two different auction houses, one that strictly uses the gold currency of Sanctuary the fantasy world, and one that uses your USD ($).  I do not agree with this concept entirely. I say, a great idea but there is a grave error that will create a rift between players who will pay more for the best and those who cannot pay and will never get the best. Have a scenario to chew over:

This is you profiting in $AH

{Well lets say you find item X, and this item is fucking awesome sauce but you cant use it. so the thing to do is sell it. now you have to decide, do you sell it for gold or RL monies? HELL YA you want the real deal. Now, little me comes along and I would very much like to have that item but i have not been lucky enough to find it on my own. so the thing to do is buy it. now i have to decide: gold or money? well, I cant really be spending my hard earned paycheck on fantasy items (i can only work so many corners to cover the rent ya know), so I go to the gold AH. low and behold... the gold AH does not have the item.
Now, Mr. Richy Rich (a fictitious 3rd person to this scenario) also wants that fracking awesome item X. He has plenty of his over-supportive (and live-in) parents' USDs in his paypal acct. So he goes straight to RL money AH and buys item X, no sweat. You profit, he wins, and I lose.}

Bad internet people are bad; never assume that they will do something charitable, like putting item X on the game-gold AH (no benefit to themselves in RL).
I dont have the ability to free myself of my monetary restrictions, therefore I am only allowed access to the shit people put on the goldAH. all the shit they dont care as much about.
My solution is simple and wouldn't really bother too many people. Separate these options to their own servers/realms.  Those who choose to use real money can have their own world to play and profit. Those of us who cannot use the real money function can be left in our own world and left to our own market system without the overpowered weight of real money.
I don't trust the other people out there and I sure as hell don't trust them with my real money. Hell I don't even trust Blizzard or especially PayPal when it comes to using my cash.  We asked for diablo, well folks, we got it and he's here to rape us, steal from us, and kick us while we're down; I hope you paid the right price for that body armor.

On another note, I seemed to have thought it was a good idea to run for the president of CGI for the next school year.  Video game club, are you ready for this Femme Fetale?