Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Power playing

This summer has had quite a flare up of the old desire to please others.  It sure has added some speed bumps on my autobahn.  There sure are a lot of politics in life that (I think) most people don't even notice they are playing part in.  I have realized just recently that although I desire to please others I have a need to please them in a way that keeps me in control of the situation.  So what happens when someone, who I have been attending to, decides to make a move that puts them in more control?  That's when Dark Karina takes the reigns and devises a deceptive plan to regain the power.  I must be taking lessons from catty reality TV; I feel like the only way to make myself feel more comfortable is to power play.  Confused?  Here's a picture for your mind:  I'm normally a cheery nurse-like caretaker but now I've got my urchin by his lapels and I'm growling at him to make smarter life decisions. I'm about to make some very bold moves.  Thankfully enough I have all the pieces I need get through this and put it behind me as quick as possible.  I'm sorry if I run over anyone on my way out.
I'm glad to say that I'm moving into a new chapter in my life.  It's a little scary not knowing exactly what is going to happen next but I'm hopeful that it will be a positive experience.  I want to work a little harder this quarter at making and holding onto a network of friends and acquaintances.  New friendships are always a little difficult for me because I feel like I never really developed the skills to create those life-long friendships.  I am also learning that romantic friendships aren't always the best ones to use as a base for a life-long connection.  It would be nice to keep these summer flings into little year-round activities, but my expectations are low.  I suppose there may be one or two guys who might want to keep this comfortable regimen on our free time between our educational slavery shifts.  I always enjoy company and entertainment from visiting gentlemen.

I'm so pleased to announce that my four weeks of physical abuse as a surveyor on the Yakama Nation's forest is at an end.  Through all that pain comes plenty of payment.  I learned an incredible amount of information and a few basic skills in such a short time.  I'm glad to recognize how these skills fit in with the processes I am more familiar with in the laboratory setting.  My overall knowledge of archaeology techniques is starting to look a lot like a big web, one thing connected to another, rather than a long rope of 'step one-step two-step three.'  I have to say that the extensive letter of recommendation and a smart little paycheck have left me with a pleasant memory of the entire experience.