Thursday, October 27, 2011

I, nix.

What's a girl to do when she's got just about everything she could ask for? I suppose she should find more things to ask for.  I need to find some new adventures, so far these paths have been beaten into regular trails for myself.  Its too bad Ashley Maddison hasn't given me a sugar daddy to help pay for my college education.  No doubt I've been gingerly enjoying my tied-up tryst. I'm certainly not ready to give that up at all.  I have a few other options on my plate at the moment as well, and I plan on exhausting all of them before I step off the high dive.  I intend to give no slack to the newest suitor and I'm positively entertained by his enthusiasm to go completely MMA on my Lady Buttons.  But there are some voids I haven't filled yet.  I'm looking to stuff myself with something a bit fuzzier.  And when I say 'fuzzier' I mean something a bit softer and more gentle.
I think I'm lonely on the female front.  My best friend Gwen and I have been ex-roommates for several months now, and I can really feel that vacancy.  Its interesting how today I caught myself thinking 'This gal looks really nice, I wonder if she would want to hang out sometime.' At first it was a little embarrassing to myself that I would be that lonely, but then I was comforted by the thought that this lovely lady may actually be my friend if I could just talk to her. Now, I know what you're thinking, this is sounding a little gay.  But you know what? I'm okay with this.
Now show 'em them titties!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Untitled Unabridged

It's interesting how a simple turn of the tides can bring on a wave of self contemplation.  I've been going about my business as usual for the past few weeks, but a few words come from the mouth of a friend and its a contagion of curiosity into myself.  It's got me wondering what exactly makes those whorls (not cogs) turn in my mind.  I'm a simple girl without too many vices.  I do not partake in any kind of harmful substances, unless you think a bit of caffeine in the morning is something to bring me down.  I like to keep myself happy and comfortable as best as I can.  Some might misunderstand some of this as a gluttonous lifestyle, but it's hardly that dense with pleasures.  Sometimes I worry for myself; if I'm getting too far down a path that may be a destructive one.  I make plenty of well-rounded decisions to better my future on a daily basis.  I think it might be okay for me to get out and be a little wild when the moon comes out.  Especially because I am still very young and strong I can handle consequences for any frivolous actions.  Thankfully, so far none too many have arisen.
Besides, I haven't always been this lighthearted and jubilant.  My choice to follow my heart's desire is relatively new.  I suppose it came along with my new year's resolution this year.  I wanted to be happier this year, and for the most part I believe I have been doing very well to succeed in achieving exactly that.  People may want to understand me better, but really all they need to know is that I am an ever-changing creature and they can really only go with my unusual rhythm and enjoy a never-dull experience.  In order to figure me out one would need to really read between my lines and pay attention to all the little blips and flashes of the tempest hidden deep within me.  But that takes way more time and effort than anyone would want to put forward on a chance like me.  Good job for studying me harder than Newton studied physics, now I'm going to leave and be on my merry way, please have this bumper sticker as a token of my appreciation.
I spent several years in a personal solitude.  I had experienced a series of damages and seemingly superficial (but it was all I had at the time) losses.  In my time of antisocial silence I was a very similar person as I am today, but I was really only an empty shell occasionally noticed by outsiders.  I had a lot of thoughts run through my mind in those years; the good, the bad, and the ugly.  The few people to whom I forced myself to mumble words to were guardian spirits who found me and helped me begin the process of growing into a strong and vibrant woman.  I thank them wholeheartedly every chance I get.  My growing pains were often and at times seemed unbearable, but somehow I got myself through it.  I suppose change happens no matter what; change doesn't care that I survived, but I'm lucky I did.
Getting through these college years has been a smooth piece of cake.  I'm finding out now that I really don't like cake, I would much rather enjoy some pie.  But I won't let this go to waste, don't worry.  I certainly plan on finishing what I've started before I really begin a new adventure.  My motivation is perfectly solid (at least for the next year or two).  But this year I wanted to be different.  I realized I was tired of being left alone.  I joined some clubs in hopes that I would make some friends and start some fires because I was ready to do some bonfire dancing and I was ready to be noticed.
I've made some new friends and I'm enjoying every minute of it.  My only fear is that everything will eventually change. I know this will happen inevitably. A new tide will come in, and I'll have to start all over again, just like everything I've ever experienced eventually goes away and I have to start new again and again and again...