Sunday, November 8, 2009

Some things make money difficult

Okay, so I'm a happy little college student and basically a first generation college student as well (except that my mother's attempt at a college education is very complicated). I don't come from the richest family in the world, so naturally I have to come up with a way to pay for my school by myself.  I gladly sign up for Financial Aid thinking this will be the perfect solution! Sadly this isn't the case. Not only was the process for applying extremely slow, but their process of doing my paperwork on time was so incredibly lag that I didn't get my Fall check until this first week of November! I had to use my emergency savings money to pay for tuition, now I have about $200 left in what was over $2000 in my savings. Because they took so long in processing my paperwork, I didn't qualify for all the usual benefits. It was a first come first serve process, but because they were so slow I got put at the end of the line. This was all very incredibly stupid, and now I'm just all flustered and angry about everything. I refuse to be put at the end of the line next time.
I am so amazingly ready to move on to my next step in my college career.  I'm ready for a bigger school, better classes, and hopefull better teachers.  I was so disappointed when I realized that teachers in college weren't quite as friendly or understanding as those I came across in high school. All of my buddies seem to feel oppositely of how I do, but they all hated high school to no end. I just don't see why I seem to be having more problems with college, an education I have chosen to pay (dearly) for, than I did when I was just another robot in the public school system.  I'm not complaining about classes. I enjoy the little bit of challenge that I sometimes find here... *sigh* sometimes.... but I don't see why its so easy for the college office people to repeatedly lose my paperwork, work as slow as snail in processing it, and then attempt to blame me for doing something right when clearly they just can't get their head out of their own asses to see that they really fucked up. Hah! Too bad for them, I'm one of those people that doesn't take their shit once I really start getting ticked off. I am forgiving, and one or two mistakes I can understand.  But I just don't understand why they just can't do it right on the 4th, 5th, 6th time?!
I find myself answering the door the other day to find a couple of JW missionaries at my door.  I really hate telling them to go away because its not like I hate them oor have any personal dislike against them, so I guess I listen to their bible stuff and stick it out until they leave. I won't invite them in for tea, but I refuse to scream at them until they go running off the property either. So what do I do? As soon as they stop blabbing I jump right in and start complaining about how aweful the system is for supporting poor college students like myself and how my life is full of turmoil and struggles and I just can't figure out how to make them work faster in the office or how I could really use some more money to pay for books or transportation fees. They say God will forgive my sins. I say, that's great but I haven't had time to commit any lately.  Its really hard to do that stuff when I'm stuck at home all day slaving over homework, and if I'm out of the house then I'm in class. I make a point to spend most of my extra time with family. They say, that's great family is very important [insert family oriented bible scripture here]. Yeah, I say, my family is a whole motley of different religions, Lutheran, Mormon, Catholic, JW, Wicca, but we don't let that get in the way of our unity. They say, you have JW neighbors there in that house [points]. Oh yeah, I say, Barb and Lyn are like back-up grandparents I didn't know they were JW, thats cool I guess.  They finally leave eventurally, but they promise to be back next week to convert my soul to be closer to Yhawy.
Thats all I need, more people bugging me about where I need to go and what I need to do... I just wanna sit in my blow up raft and float down my river of life. No need for paddles or steering devices or power engines, I just wanna let it roll out however.