Monday, February 20, 2012
At first I was a little weary of this lothario to motion to initiate a serious relationship because we had been spending time together for the past year under the context of keeping our infatuations out of it all. I mean, I admit it was a bit difficult for me to follow these rules we established. It's hard not to start up something that is so incredibly fun, and not get caught up in the risks. So when my willpower failed I would meditate on all the reasons why the rules of engagement are important and I would cleanse myself of any lust or jealousy. Around the end of January I had made quite a bit of headway with a few other suitors and I really stopped worrying about any woes brought on by my valentine. When he asked for a serious relationship I was surprised and unsure of what I really wanted, but I knew that this was something I really couldn't walk away from.
I have an honest smile on my face right now, and I can feel a strong glow in my heart, so deep down I think I know I'm experiencing some good things right now. I like this. I am happy.
I also can't avoid giving a shout out to my bestest breast friend forever, Gwen, who got engaged on Valentines Day. This is so exciting and I don't want to sound really selfish, but I'm going to be a little (and by 'little' I mean 'a lot') bummed out if I don't make the cut for Maid of Honor. This is a life goal I cannot miss my chance for. I'm already planning the rumble in the jungle bridal shower/bachelorette party. Finally I can have my stripper and eat it too--CAKE! I meant to say cake... dammit.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Its not just men I've been hoping to share my affections with. I've been so overjoyed lately at the activities that I've been able to enjoy with female accompaniment. I don't know what my aprehension is when it comes to connecting with other women. I just get really nervous and sometimes feel a little intimidated when I try to strike up a friendship with them. If only someone could just tell me the secret to being able to talk to women, all my inner struggles will be solved. I really do love being able to spend time with the ladies. I really like listening to all the stories and adventures that energize their hearts and their hatred. There is always a lurking desire to have a few lady friends that I can trust to be reliable and stable. Honestly, I'm trying really hard to keep my motivation to seek out this female companionship. I don't want fear to overcome me this time.