Wednesday, December 23, 2009

People say mean things

I just had a pretty lousy day yesterday.  I drop a message for an old friend/ex saying hello and wondering why I was suddenly removed from his list of friends on his online profiles.  So the message got intercepted by his current girlfriend who for some reason felt like my message was some sort of secret code for "I want to have sex with you" and she went totally berserk. Thats where I got confused and I still haven't recovered. So I wanted to call him up and ask whats up with the psycho hosebeast (of course I would never use that actual language because I had a smidgen of doubt and figured she probably thought I was someone else.) But I bet you can't guess who answered his phone! Nevermind, I'd lose that bet. Yep its her and she's still so pissed she won't listen to a word I say. So I call up some old buddies asking around if he's got a new number, sure enough he does. At that point she was still calling and texting me calling me horrible names. Heh, I'm still confused! I really want to know why I'm being attacked. What have I done to her to deserve this? I sent a text to his new number with a question I know only he can answer so that I know for sure that its really him. I get a text back avoiding the answer so I say "Umm no. Thats the wrong answer sorry." and I stop replying texts and I don't answer the calls from this number either. Eventually I get a voicemail, and voicemails are pretty safe for me I suppose because I'm not required to reply. Well, its him. He says "Stop bothering me and my family. If you keep calling here I will change my number." end of message. Wow... I don't think I called him once. I sent a message (don't even know if he read it) and a text asking if the new number was really him. You can't possibly imagine the confusion I'm swimming in right now. I'm on the major defensive and I get treated like an offender!
I figure the couple must be truly agitated about something unbeknown to me and I just happened to drop my hello at the wrong moment. My deep psychic connection (a bit 'o sarcasm there) with people tells me that she suspects him of cheating and jumped to the conclusion that it must have been me (even though I live 1,600 miles away from him). He couldn't have responded to me more kindly in that voicemail that day because she was probably looking over his shoulder.
It's okay though I suppose. From what she kept screaming at me her words were telling me "we're happy together and we have a kid now!" but what I was really hearing every time she spoke "I can't allow him to stray because its impossible for me to support myself." I think she was legitimately scared that I would ruin her family. I only wish she could have heard me when I said "I have absolutely no desire to continue a romantic relationship with him. Our friendship over the past two years has been 100% platonic."
Haha, I admit I probably used too many big words in my message and she wouldn't know and therefore became more afraid.
She threatened to have some "family" come and jump me. I was telling my gal pal Gwen that I think I would solidly respect this girl if she orchestrated that feat. I have to make sure to keep my video camera handy just in case some thugs show up at my door because I would love to put my epic beat down on the internet. It would be sad however, that by causing harm to me they would ultimately be committing suicide. My father, who is a bounty hunter in Nevada, would not tolerate physical abuse towards his one and only little girl.
But by and by, I don't wish harm on any of these people. I do however, wish that they could give me some answers. I just don't understand why I was chosen for (what seems like a random) verbal attack.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Coldness and such wintery things

Fr-fr-fr-freezing balls!  Its so cold all I can do is barely move to get up for some hot tea.  Ah, tea sweet tea, how I do love thee... I'm enjoying myself on my winter break from school.  So far I've done... nothing. I'm loving it. I figure soon enough here I will get myself moving, but for now I am enjoying my quiet R&R time.  Started reading a couple books, The Picture of Dorian Gray and rereading The Vampire Lestat.  I'm spending an unmentionable ammount of time playing Sims, I'm a bad person, I know.

I'm thinking about all the stuff I need to get working on for college next fall.  I'm a bit anxious about it all but I know it will be really nice when the time comes when I get to start that new leg of my college experience.  It will be interesting having my pets there with me in a tiny appartment.  I'm sure BB won't like being stuck inside all day without her usual big yard to run around in.  I just have to walk her a lot.  Everything is going to be at such a faster pace, I really hope I can keep up.

Haha, I'm having fun putting all these pictures here... Stay warm this holiday season everyone!
Would you like to see my holiday wishlist? Check it here

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Final exams do bad things to my brain

Ugh, so final exams are upon us!  My brain has been pounded so hard with Spanish vocab, first aid techniques, sign language signs, and forcing myself to keep moving in PE to stay warm.  A lovely November it is; crisp, fresh, and fucking freezing!  My angora and wool mittens are doing all they can to keep my sweet little flanges warm.  Ah, you can probably tell I'm feeling a bit connected with the earth today. I've been trying to keep my sane mind by taking intermittent breaks from studying to draw a bit of this and a bit of that.  I've got at least one sweet drawing done this week that really blows my socks off.
I think I'm ready to start listening to the local Christmas Music radio station.  I think that I look forward to getting Thanksgiving done with just so that I can listen to Christmas music... I admit that I secretly love to sing along with all the merry tunes.  It makes me wonder about religions, that Christmas music just makes me wonder...  I mean, I really don't think Christianity is for me but gosh darn it I really like their holiday music.  Some of the Psalms are really pretty and full of love and it just fills my heart with joy to listen to it all.  I have a hard time understanding why non-Christians would be so angry towards all the holiday displays.  People gathering together to be closer with one another and show thanks for each other and to just be merry seems like one of the most innocent things people of certain faiths can do.  Some rabbi got pissy a few years back because the Sea/Tac Airport had tons of Christmas decorations but no Hannukah ones.  Buddy, don't get pissy, just ask for some.  Someone probably asked for the Christmas decor, and now you too have to ask for your own decor.  I'm sorry you have to work harder to be a part of the community, but we all go through that at some point.  Some more fun holiday music to listen to are the dirges of the middle east.  I also love hybrid music of folk/dirge its so strange and so beautiful.  Check out the song "The Gates of Istanbul" at and you'll know what I mean.
My one holiday wish is for everyone that reads this to write to Santa this year, if you don't send him a letter I hear that he accepts emails at

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Thinking of wonderful things

My life feels particularly slow at the moment.  I feel bored with my classes even though I'm being drilled to hell with homework and other such assignments.  Its like yeah, I think I got the gist of this, now can we move on please? But I've still got a couple weeks to go before I'm free to roam for Winter break.  And its fucking cold! I can't motivate myself to do my morning bike route anymore, because I just can't get up to do all that in 28degF plus a little rain to boot. I'm a chicken, and I think I do just fine by staying moderately involved with life. All I want is a hot cup of tea and a good book to read.
I'm so ready for some new classes, and I'm all signed up for next quarter. No worries, I did plenty of research at to make sure that I get all the good ones. I'm taking Anatomy, Biological Anthropology, SpanishII, and a PE class to keep me warm.
Friday Nov. 27 I have a date with a tattoo artist to get some permanent ink. I'm excited. It's going to be a red-eyed tree frog sitting behind my shoulder. Not too big, not to complicated, no deep and power symbolism.  I've been set with the task to help ut my aunt and sketch out some ideas for tattoos for her and I'm trying real hard to keep up with those. Stupid spanish homework keeps distracting me.
I got all of my money finally. I've got a nice lump of green in the bank now and I feel so much better having some in there. I'm a little worried about how money is going to work out next quarter for school, but we'll see about that later. I just have to keep on myself about saving money from now until eternity. I think maybe I've been a bit foolish about spending. Not too foolish, I don't ever buy silly things or obviously overpirced items, but I think I could make a few smarter choices or at least make sure to think about the future before making any monitary commitments.
My main squeeze is supposedly coming to visit me for Thanksgiving break and I''m so excited to see him. Ever since he cancelled our date for Halloween I've been a bit bummed. I haven't actually seen his face since before Fall quarter classes started. Thats a really long time to go without seeing him or getting one of his awesomely tight hugs. I'm eager to get to next week.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Ethically egotistic much?

Individual existence, subjectivity, individual freedom, and choice.

What does this make you think of?
When are we all going to realize that we need not care about why life is, but what we do with it? I want you to think real hard about your own individualism. What makes you an individual? Maybe your quest for moral perfection is just leading you to be just like past moral role models. And who says these instances are for moral growth? I think you do.

I believe that in order to life a full life then we must not restrain ourselves by flimsy rules set by society's standards, we should act on our own convictions and random whims to make our lives true. True to ourselves. No one can tell us what is wrong or right for us. They can use words to explain what is wrong or right in society, but they have no say in what we do with our bodies, our minds, our souls, our love, our hate, or anything else that is of our being.

"God is dead." who said that? I know, do you? Neitzsche told us that we only refer to our universe as an orderly place because it is the easiest way to explain everything. No rules exist, not really. Physics? no. gravity? no. time? hell no! We create these variables only to mask our own ignorace of the metaphysical which is hidden from our minds in the shadow of science and god. An orderly universe is fiction that has been accepted by the masses.

We create our nature of self just as plants and animals do. We have no purpose other than to live so we can die. Whether you decide to make something of your life is a choice left only to you. So choose something to do with your life. Follow it with conviction! No doubt it is a tough responsibility to stay persistant with your meaning of life, but nontheless, do it.

The human self, wich combines mind and body, is itself a paradox and a contradiction. Two totally separate entities are combined to make... you. Yet how can mind and body link, one being of physical and the other something quite the opposite? They do, or rather, they can. It is a massive task to link together your mind with your body so go get some rest!

So another question is: Can I connect with the metaphysical just like my body connects with my mind?

Life is pointless without conviction. There is no higher power, only me (or you). I say what goes and what doesn't in my life. We are born, we live, we die. Yes folks, we are all going to die. Some of us are going to die young, some will live to be very old; eventually we will die. If we were to think about death a little closer we would notice that life is essentially pointless. So you might as well make the best of it while you can. I believe in a realm beyond death, but it is something entirely different from life beyond death. There will be no heaven or hell, no god or devine spirit, there will be no rewards or punishments; afterall, you have decided what is right and what is wrong for you anyways, how could there possibly be a hell? Unless you regret something you've done... but why would someone be stupid enough to do that?!
Please see Utilitarianism and Ethical Egoism.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Some things make money difficult

Okay, so I'm a happy little college student and basically a first generation college student as well (except that my mother's attempt at a college education is very complicated). I don't come from the richest family in the world, so naturally I have to come up with a way to pay for my school by myself.  I gladly sign up for Financial Aid thinking this will be the perfect solution! Sadly this isn't the case. Not only was the process for applying extremely slow, but their process of doing my paperwork on time was so incredibly lag that I didn't get my Fall check until this first week of November! I had to use my emergency savings money to pay for tuition, now I have about $200 left in what was over $2000 in my savings. Because they took so long in processing my paperwork, I didn't qualify for all the usual benefits. It was a first come first serve process, but because they were so slow I got put at the end of the line. This was all very incredibly stupid, and now I'm just all flustered and angry about everything. I refuse to be put at the end of the line next time.
I am so amazingly ready to move on to my next step in my college career.  I'm ready for a bigger school, better classes, and hopefull better teachers.  I was so disappointed when I realized that teachers in college weren't quite as friendly or understanding as those I came across in high school. All of my buddies seem to feel oppositely of how I do, but they all hated high school to no end. I just don't see why I seem to be having more problems with college, an education I have chosen to pay (dearly) for, than I did when I was just another robot in the public school system.  I'm not complaining about classes. I enjoy the little bit of challenge that I sometimes find here... *sigh* sometimes.... but I don't see why its so easy for the college office people to repeatedly lose my paperwork, work as slow as snail in processing it, and then attempt to blame me for doing something right when clearly they just can't get their head out of their own asses to see that they really fucked up. Hah! Too bad for them, I'm one of those people that doesn't take their shit once I really start getting ticked off. I am forgiving, and one or two mistakes I can understand.  But I just don't understand why they just can't do it right on the 4th, 5th, 6th time?!
I find myself answering the door the other day to find a couple of JW missionaries at my door.  I really hate telling them to go away because its not like I hate them oor have any personal dislike against them, so I guess I listen to their bible stuff and stick it out until they leave. I won't invite them in for tea, but I refuse to scream at them until they go running off the property either. So what do I do? As soon as they stop blabbing I jump right in and start complaining about how aweful the system is for supporting poor college students like myself and how my life is full of turmoil and struggles and I just can't figure out how to make them work faster in the office or how I could really use some more money to pay for books or transportation fees. They say God will forgive my sins. I say, that's great but I haven't had time to commit any lately.  Its really hard to do that stuff when I'm stuck at home all day slaving over homework, and if I'm out of the house then I'm in class. I make a point to spend most of my extra time with family. They say, that's great family is very important [insert family oriented bible scripture here]. Yeah, I say, my family is a whole motley of different religions, Lutheran, Mormon, Catholic, JW, Wicca, but we don't let that get in the way of our unity. They say, you have JW neighbors there in that house [points]. Oh yeah, I say, Barb and Lyn are like back-up grandparents I didn't know they were JW, thats cool I guess.  They finally leave eventurally, but they promise to be back next week to convert my soul to be closer to Yhawy.
Thats all I need, more people bugging me about where I need to go and what I need to do... I just wanna sit in my blow up raft and float down my river of life. No need for paddles or steering devices or power engines, I just wanna let it roll out however.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Counting legs on a centapede

So I get this feeling all the time when I read books like I need to exapnd them, or sometimes I just wish the author could squeeze more story out.  I love most fiction series because I love the anticipation of the next book.  But I also hate series of books beacuse there is almost always an ending.  I do agree however that there are a few things that have been drawn wayyy too far out.  Maybe I'm just picky, but sometimes I like to do a bit of undercover fan fiction (I never share so don't even ask).  My life could never have too much literature.
I watched the Adams Family movie today and I realized that, wow I really fucking love Halloween! Last year I chose not to do anything other than hand out candy to the half dozen waifs that bravely chose to wander down my dark road.  I'm going to dress witchy this year, but I don't know what I am going to go out and do if anything.  My main squeeze is visiting me on Halloween weekend and I am really excited.  Its been several weeks since the last time I saw him and its horrible that we have both been so busy that we rarely talk to each other.  Our schedules have us at opposite hours of the day so its a rare treat to be able to chat with him or whatever.
Sometimes life would be a little easier if I had some sort of super power. I would love to be able to make plants grow super fast, or super strength is a universal one where I could do almost anything just by being strong, or flying, or underwater breathing...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Prices are going up!

I was hoping that with a slow economy most prices would go down. No such luck. Certain things I like to watch very carefully over time so that I know when I'm getting a good deal or not, all I see are more adds and higher prices. Cars and houses have been apearing to lower their prices (not that anyone I know can afford anything worth while even still) but things like tubs of ice cream keep getting smaller and prices continue to rise cent by cent. They think we don't notice... and maybe most of us don't! But I like being a smart girl. I also refuse to pay $500 for an orthopedic insert for my shoes, and I love my feet! I would sooner cut my feet off than pay that much for a couple chuncks of plastic.
But anyways... who cares about the economy! I'm much more interesting. So here's the thing, I think I'm loosing my hold on my stomach. So I'm reading my book Dexter by Design by Jeff Lindsay, book number four in the series, and 50 pages in and I feel like I'm going to hurl my lunch. I remember the previous three books being just as gory and discusting, but geeze why am I about to lose it now? Anyways, don't let me deterr you from picking Lindsay's books up because I highly recommend them to everyone who likes crime drama/mystery or any interest in serial killers. But maybe I need to figure out how to tighten up my stomach a bit before I can finish reading the story.  Maybe I should have taken the chance to go on a few roller coasters this summer, then maybe I'd be a bit more fit for a blood and gore book.  Halloween is going to be fun this year...

Friday, October 16, 2009

Things that tickle my happy spot...

So I'm currently a happy student at a local community college.  I don't particularly have any classes worth any special noting, but I have to say that I am enjoying my beginning spanish class way more than I should be. You should check out mi musica del mundo hispano or however I'm supposed to say that...
So I need to start hosting mixers, cocktail parties, or something.  So far I've had three different guys ask me to help them find a solid girlfriend. What? do I look like a moble dating service to you? Hah! Well... maybe Karina the Matchmaker isn't so bad. I can't say that my previous ventures of hooking people up have had a great level of success, but I don't deny that I deliver exactly what they ask for... So any ladies out there looking to meet one of three single misters? I'll make sure to have all of them write resumes for my next blog post. Haha...
I figure once I get into CWU I'm going to look into joining a sorority or something like that and then I'll have plenty of available ladies at my disposal.  I think I'm looking forward to adding more female friends to my collection. I've always been that gal that hangs around with the guys. Just because girls have always been uber bitches to me in the past and I haven't ever really wanted anything to do with them. I don't think its their fault they were always so jealous that I filled out as a woman long before their mommies bought their first training bra. Curves, I was born with, and I'm sorry you hate me.
My current excursion/adventure that I'm undergoing is the ever-so cliche "diet and excercise" American 00s fad of the century.  Only, I have a lot more faith in myself than most people.  I'm trying to eat between 1800 and 2200 calories a day (It's so damn hard to eat more than 1700 with my snail paced metabolism!) and I'm vigorously riding my bike for up to 40mins a day a few times (3-4) a week, plus an additional 2-3 times a week brisk walking. I've been at this for about 4 weeks now and I've lost... a few pounds. Bleh, I wish it were a little faster.
I rode my bike this afternoon in the pouring rain! Haha... it wasn't so cold, but it could have been. I was drenched all the way through by the time I got home. It was hilarious.
My next plan of action... I don't know.

The sum of all things...

Hello everyone. Welcome to my new blog. Let's start off first with my "No Garuntee."
I do not garuntee in any way that I will keep up with this blog on a regular basis. Nor do I garuntee that it will be interesting to you whoever you are. I make no promises to you readers, bloggers, and stalkers about anything. Read at your own goddamn risk!
And moving on... Hi, my name is Karina. You may call me Madame Karina or Mistress Karina.... hahaha just kidding! But seriously, I like things like bubble gum, Tomb Raider, minty stuff, fruit, music with a beat I can dance to or something slow I can read to, I love reading, I like dogs and I have one, my favorite color is green (or is it purple? I can't remember) and I love Seattle.
My main purpose for this blog is to keep all my distant friends and whoever up-to-date on whatever I'm doing.  I enjoy sharing my thoughts and ideas with people but I don't necisarily care what you have to say.  What can I say? I like the attention.