Monday, December 12, 2011

Just shut my whore mouth

Is it incredibly strange to ask for discretion in a relationship?  I know most people say they want to hear their partner be open and truthful about affairs or drunken mistakes.  I don't want to hear anything, and apparently it makes me a social oddity.  If he's getting some on the side, well shit that sucks; but to be completely honest, I really don't want to know.  I don't want to know who it is or what you did.  "But Karina, wouldn't you want to know about what he's doing now so that you won't be terribly shocked when he just up and leaves you later?" Oh no. I think that taking a pill like that would be much easier to take than to sit here and boil in all the things I fail to provide but the other women can.  I've been suddenly dropped many a time before, I can handle that and I can move on without a hitch.  But if you're making me listen to all of the disloyal things you did at Philly Joe's party, please leave me out of the loop.  My inner harmony is balanced when I feel like I'm the only woman of any significance to exist in this realm.  Not only is it not sexy to hear that you were getting it on with someone other than me, but now I have to marinate in my own self pity about how terrible I am at picking men.  I need to be in control of my own uncontrolled life.  This roller coaster needs guard rails if you know what I mean.  I feel like it's a reasonable request. You can do whatever you want with MarySue as long as I don't know a damn thing about it. I mean, NOTHING. Ugh... Now I just feel a little inadequate and pretty much useless. Thanks.
I wish there was a way to get myself away from this terrible name tag I have given myself, 'Broken.' Something to that affect must have been tattooed to my forehead without my knowledge because it seems like guys often assume that I have some deal breaker quirk and they don't really bother trying to look deeper to see that its just not true.  I'm loyal to my death, and I'm forgiving to even the most heinous of crimes against love.  No one sees that  Pretty much all they see is that I'm energetic, adventurous, and dumb.  Well, okay, the dumb part is a rouse to get some attention, but hey I'm not perfect; but I sure as hell ain't as bad as little miss crack-addict-daddy-issues that your chasing over there.  I'm not a crazy bitch girlfriend that demands to know who you're hanging with every night of the week, nor am I demanding that you send me hourly texts to say 'thinking of you' or 'i love you.'  That shit is sooooo middle school. Actually, all of this shit is.
I'm tired of listening to grown adults coo over baby animals, women get excited about cupcake earrings, and all that self entitlement on denial of pre-martial sex.  I'm getting bored with your silly and childish quirks.  Can't a decent girl like me just have a grown and decent man (he doesn't even have to be perfect, imagine that)?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Sea legs, confirmed

Get ready for some interesting news; I've got my wobbly legs! Indeed, the rumors are true. I experienced my first alcohol induced wobbles; at a great party by the way. Kudos for the dashing host who helped me get very tipsy and he didn't even take advantage of me.  I also want to thank everyone else who was supportive and also did not take advantage of me (even though they probably don't read my blogs, I'd like the Internetz to know they are pretty cool cats).  I think it was a great experience for a first-timer like me.  I didn't get overly drunk nor did I experience a hangover for the following morning.  I was obscenely hungry for the next 24 hours, but I'm not sure if that had anything to do with the previous night.  For those of you who care, I partook of these liquors: 151 rum, goldschlager, jagermiester, and vodka; these were in the form of various shots and mixed drinks.
After that whole deal I was set to my herculean task of doing all the work for Finals Week.  I finally got my TA job squared away in time to grade all the final essays for the World Prehistory class. Grade 37 papers by Monday 5pm; I can do that (just barely). Go to optional statistics exam on Tuesday? Sorry, no can do; I've got 10 pages of text to pull out of my ass for my Archaeology Methods course. Wednesday morning I have a Biological Anthropology exam, then I'm off to do some more writing before the Big One is due Thursday morning.  I have a strong suspicion that I won't actually be able to write all 10 pages, but I'm hoping that I can write it eloquently enough to scrape a C out of it.
I am home free by Friday! (I'm assuming I will be sleeping from 4pm Thursday until Friday noon-ish) I am looking forward to staying in bed for nearly 24 hours. I think I deserve it. Maybe I'll go all out and order pizza for dinner on Friday night.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Thirty-two and a half

Its been a long journey since I decided to start making healthier decisions about my diet.  I can honestly say that a lot has changed and not just my appearance.  I was a bit of a shy gal back in '08.  I had my colorful moments spattered here and there, but its nothing to the daily rainbow fountain I am today.  I get a kick out of reading my old diary entrees from back then.  I had a somewhat low self-esteem, although I doubt I've ever had a very poor sense of self.  My diary oozes with worries about never being able to go out and have fun with people and serious lack in friends; but this can certainly be racked up as a complete lack of trying. I was terribly lazy and over cautious about making friends.  I made a couple here and there, but I sure didn't know how to maintain a relationship with them. But congratulations to me for losing 32.5lbs. since 2008.  Hopefully this means I've completely grown out of my weird 'teen-age' shell.
Art by Viria13
I've been feeling a bit lonely today. I don't think its for lack of friends this time, I seem to have made quite a few new friends and that's great. I can't put my finger just on it though. I feel like I'm missing something--no, someone.  Might be because I got a call form my brother a couple days ago and I haven't heard from him in months.  I think there is a void in my social repertoire, I seem to be missing a main friend.  I can call my best friend Gwen, we can chat for a while, and that's about it.  But that's not quite enough right now.  The distance between us is much too difficult to overcome at the moment. I think I need something a little more tangible on a regular basis.  I haven't had a craving for this kind of intimacy in a long time.  Every time I try to fill this void it doesn't seem to work out very well. I've been doing something wrong I suppose.  I know my acid tongue and clever wit are hard to handle for most people.  I wish I could explain myself better.  I really hate to insult people seriously, but I have my own way of showing affection; if I'm calling you all the most horrible names in the book, it just means I REALLY like you.  Its pre-school logic: the people I like most are going to get pushed into the sandbox more often.  Honestly, I'm working hard on trying to be a bit nicer to everyone. Please try to take these punches as a compliment in the highest regards.  My friends really are great people, and I don't want to drive them away with a bitchy attitude.
I really like the wintertime, but I always feel like I'm losing touch with the real world whenever it rolls around.  I feel like I've been detached from everything, but I know I'm not. Maybe its just the cold weather and I don't want to leave my warm and cozy house.  Quick somebody save me from this macrame!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I, nix.

What's a girl to do when she's got just about everything she could ask for? I suppose she should find more things to ask for.  I need to find some new adventures, so far these paths have been beaten into regular trails for myself.  Its too bad Ashley Maddison hasn't given me a sugar daddy to help pay for my college education.  No doubt I've been gingerly enjoying my tied-up tryst. I'm certainly not ready to give that up at all.  I have a few other options on my plate at the moment as well, and I plan on exhausting all of them before I step off the high dive.  I intend to give no slack to the newest suitor and I'm positively entertained by his enthusiasm to go completely MMA on my Lady Buttons.  But there are some voids I haven't filled yet.  I'm looking to stuff myself with something a bit fuzzier.  And when I say 'fuzzier' I mean something a bit softer and more gentle.
I think I'm lonely on the female front.  My best friend Gwen and I have been ex-roommates for several months now, and I can really feel that vacancy.  Its interesting how today I caught myself thinking 'This gal looks really nice, I wonder if she would want to hang out sometime.' At first it was a little embarrassing to myself that I would be that lonely, but then I was comforted by the thought that this lovely lady may actually be my friend if I could just talk to her. Now, I know what you're thinking, this is sounding a little gay.  But you know what? I'm okay with this.
Now show 'em them titties!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Untitled Unabridged

It's interesting how a simple turn of the tides can bring on a wave of self contemplation.  I've been going about my business as usual for the past few weeks, but a few words come from the mouth of a friend and its a contagion of curiosity into myself.  It's got me wondering what exactly makes those whorls (not cogs) turn in my mind.  I'm a simple girl without too many vices.  I do not partake in any kind of harmful substances, unless you think a bit of caffeine in the morning is something to bring me down.  I like to keep myself happy and comfortable as best as I can.  Some might misunderstand some of this as a gluttonous lifestyle, but it's hardly that dense with pleasures.  Sometimes I worry for myself; if I'm getting too far down a path that may be a destructive one.  I make plenty of well-rounded decisions to better my future on a daily basis.  I think it might be okay for me to get out and be a little wild when the moon comes out.  Especially because I am still very young and strong I can handle consequences for any frivolous actions.  Thankfully, so far none too many have arisen.
Besides, I haven't always been this lighthearted and jubilant.  My choice to follow my heart's desire is relatively new.  I suppose it came along with my new year's resolution this year.  I wanted to be happier this year, and for the most part I believe I have been doing very well to succeed in achieving exactly that.  People may want to understand me better, but really all they need to know is that I am an ever-changing creature and they can really only go with my unusual rhythm and enjoy a never-dull experience.  In order to figure me out one would need to really read between my lines and pay attention to all the little blips and flashes of the tempest hidden deep within me.  But that takes way more time and effort than anyone would want to put forward on a chance like me.  Good job for studying me harder than Newton studied physics, now I'm going to leave and be on my merry way, please have this bumper sticker as a token of my appreciation.
I spent several years in a personal solitude.  I had experienced a series of damages and seemingly superficial (but it was all I had at the time) losses.  In my time of antisocial silence I was a very similar person as I am today, but I was really only an empty shell occasionally noticed by outsiders.  I had a lot of thoughts run through my mind in those years; the good, the bad, and the ugly.  The few people to whom I forced myself to mumble words to were guardian spirits who found me and helped me begin the process of growing into a strong and vibrant woman.  I thank them wholeheartedly every chance I get.  My growing pains were often and at times seemed unbearable, but somehow I got myself through it.  I suppose change happens no matter what; change doesn't care that I survived, but I'm lucky I did.
Getting through these college years has been a smooth piece of cake.  I'm finding out now that I really don't like cake, I would much rather enjoy some pie.  But I won't let this go to waste, don't worry.  I certainly plan on finishing what I've started before I really begin a new adventure.  My motivation is perfectly solid (at least for the next year or two).  But this year I wanted to be different.  I realized I was tired of being left alone.  I joined some clubs in hopes that I would make some friends and start some fires because I was ready to do some bonfire dancing and I was ready to be noticed.
I've made some new friends and I'm enjoying every minute of it.  My only fear is that everything will eventually change. I know this will happen inevitably. A new tide will come in, and I'll have to start all over again, just like everything I've ever experienced eventually goes away and I have to start new again and again and again...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Power playing

This summer has had quite a flare up of the old desire to please others.  It sure has added some speed bumps on my autobahn.  There sure are a lot of politics in life that (I think) most people don't even notice they are playing part in.  I have realized just recently that although I desire to please others I have a need to please them in a way that keeps me in control of the situation.  So what happens when someone, who I have been attending to, decides to make a move that puts them in more control?  That's when Dark Karina takes the reigns and devises a deceptive plan to regain the power.  I must be taking lessons from catty reality TV; I feel like the only way to make myself feel more comfortable is to power play.  Confused?  Here's a picture for your mind:  I'm normally a cheery nurse-like caretaker but now I've got my urchin by his lapels and I'm growling at him to make smarter life decisions. I'm about to make some very bold moves.  Thankfully enough I have all the pieces I need get through this and put it behind me as quick as possible.  I'm sorry if I run over anyone on my way out.
I'm glad to say that I'm moving into a new chapter in my life.  It's a little scary not knowing exactly what is going to happen next but I'm hopeful that it will be a positive experience.  I want to work a little harder this quarter at making and holding onto a network of friends and acquaintances.  New friendships are always a little difficult for me because I feel like I never really developed the skills to create those life-long friendships.  I am also learning that romantic friendships aren't always the best ones to use as a base for a life-long connection.  It would be nice to keep these summer flings into little year-round activities, but my expectations are low.  I suppose there may be one or two guys who might want to keep this comfortable regimen on our free time between our educational slavery shifts.  I always enjoy company and entertainment from visiting gentlemen.

I'm so pleased to announce that my four weeks of physical abuse as a surveyor on the Yakama Nation's forest is at an end.  Through all that pain comes plenty of payment.  I learned an incredible amount of information and a few basic skills in such a short time.  I'm glad to recognize how these skills fit in with the processes I am more familiar with in the laboratory setting.  My overall knowledge of archaeology techniques is starting to look a lot like a big web, one thing connected to another, rather than a long rope of 'step one-step two-step three.'  I have to say that the extensive letter of recommendation and a smart little paycheck have left me with a pleasant memory of the entire experience.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

This fish is not out of water

BB and I decided to go on a walk this morning, and I'm glad we did.  A week or so ago I found out that Ellensburg's largest park is about a block and a half down the street from my house. I thought it was great with the 6 baseball diamonds, 2 soccer fields, 2 play grounds, and paved running loop; but today we took it to the next level. The park actually reaches all the way to the Yakima river with several little calm lagoons, but it doesn't end there. There are also 2 recreational lakes, one of which has a shoreline that is dog walker friendly.  BB and I enjoyed the refreshing cool water on our skin and the early 10am-not-so-killer sunshine.  I want to go back tomorrow with my bathing suit.  Anyone is welcome to join us.
We are enjoying our new house way too much.  The back yard is adorable and there is just about everything I need right within reach. I'm a stone's throw from the supermarket and only 9 minute bike ride to the center of campus. I left behind a life with a dishwasher at the apartment and traded it for this adorable house with a washer and dryer, a yard, and a shed.

P.S. -- I took my piss test this morning for my new position with the Yakima Nation Forestry Archaeology Program. I also took my very first breathalyzer test. Yay me!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Not technically savvy

I can fix what was wrong with my old clothes dryer but I can't seem to figure out why my father's facebook account has locked him (and me) out. I set that account up so that my simple minded father could in no way screw anything up. Back up emails, cell numbers, secret questions... I had all of the information I needed to keep  his account afloat. But apparently FB feels that the identity of the account holder is in jeopardy and the account cannot be accessed by me, the obviously notorious and nefarious character intent on stealing his... wait--there's really no information, this profile is basically a name attached to a never-ending list of 30 friends.  FB, why don't you go spend your energy on protecting people who actually need it, like, little girls who befriend sex offenders and pedobears.  Actually maybe that's why the account was locked... dad? you know you're not supposed to accept friend requests from little girls whose top interest is Dateline NBC.
Anyways, I feel like the internet needs to stop being such a tight-ass. I thought memorizing passwords and secret questions was hard enough, now I have to deal with backup pin numbers and captchas at every turn. Soon no doubt they are going to require blood samples, background checks, and credit scores to let me into my social network.
Speaking of body fluid samples, I'm excited to go tomorrow for my EADFET to make my new position with the Yakima Nation Forestry Archaeology Program. Okay, I admit it, there's really no actual paycheck. Its officially volunteer work, but when I write up that resume this Fall and you see ' YNFAP Internship' you know I'm worth at least $14/hr after that.  Actually I'm just full of myself. I'll really only be getting about $10/hr for the TA position in September, but if I can squeeze every penny out of those suckers and do some work at the lab where $13/hr is noob pay, I think I can plump up the starving savings account.
I've got my stats class coming up this Fall, anyone willing to help a girl out? I'm a little scared about this.  I don't think I've used the left side of my brain since high school. I've got cobwebs growing up there.
Also, don't let me forget I need to start working on my application for grad school.  I'm always slow to get going on this sort of thing. Figures, I'm awesome at everything else on this planet, why would I be awesome at making proper deadlines?
Y'all are welcome to come see me dance.
Ellensburg is really growing on me and I can honestly say that I'll be a bit sad when I have to leave next year. I got this house that's more than comfy and I really like how things are going on and off campus. I don't know how I feel about living in a small town where everything is dictated by the church-going farmers and small business owners. It would be tough getting my strip club up and going. I heard a rumor that a Go-Go Bar is about to spring up and any ladies looking for work as dancers should do some searching, I know I am.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Scurvy Summer

Happy July to you fools, I hope your summer festivities are going along better than mine.  I would never wish this kind of suffering even on my enemies. Do I have enemies?  Alas, the rumors are true, I did have to go back in for a second round of surgery.  It was substantially more invasive than the last.  The surgeon had to cut into my hand again, scrape out all of the scar tissue I've accumulated in the past 3 weeks, pull out the first set of pins, re-break the bone, re-position the bone, add more screws, and sew me back up.  It looks better I think. It sure doesn't feel better.
If I thought I was a poor college student before, I am a REALLY poor college student now.
Now I've decided that the summer field school on the side of Mt. Rainier is not a good idea.  I've got at least 8 more weeks of physical healing and rehabilitation, and that says for nothing to my state of mental exhaustion.  Although sometimes I might not think I need it, I just want to take it easy for the rest of the summer break and maybe everything will be straightened out by the time classes start again in the fall.
Enough of that nonsense. Let's discuss my pet purchase plans.  My darling Gary died a few weeks ago.  He was a sweet salamander that I've had since he was a tiny tadpole with flowery external gills. See the video I made on the day I brought him home here.  Nonetheless, I have a fish tank now that I would very much like to put  some hermit crabs into.  I've done some research on crab care and I think this is just what I need.  These social butterflies like to live in groups, I think I'll get 3.  I'm going to gather a bunch of different sized shells and put some of my creativity to work for some crab-home decor.  I've got some name ideas but any of you can chime into my brainstorm if you think of something cool like 'Cthulhu' or 'Krusty' or 'Cap'n Teague.'

Sunday, June 12, 2011

La douleur exquise

I'm not sure how to muddle through these clouded thoughts. I feel like I need to be able to think about myself and my recent behavior but I can't. It's really tough to continue taking my meds, but sometimes my hand hurts so bad I just want to drown myself in vicodin. Nonetheless, I don't like where I've been ending up. 'You wake up at SeaTac, SFO, LAX. Pacific, Mountain, Central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life and its ending one minute at a time. If you can wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?' The words are being whispered into my ear as they slip from the pill bottle I just popped. Its an eerie concept.  What I want, what I need, what I desire, and what I fear all seem to be a jumbled up mess.  My feelings are being coagulated and stuck in the receses of my mind, never to make it to my surface.  My meds are imprisoning me no doubt, but its a padded cell with three square meals a day.  How bad do I want to get out?
Where is my fairy god-mother when I need her! I am not making smart decisions about how and where to let my heart wander.  I'm an open-minded girl looking for love, but having fun in the process.  But how much is too much? I hope I know when to slow down before I just get myself in another wreck.  My intention is not to hurt anyone, especially myself.
I had to cut my hair even though I really didn't want to.  I didn't really have a choice though; I can't take care of my long hair properly with only one hand.  But maybe having short hair again will be fun.  Last time I had hair this short was the same time I had black hair last.  A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...  I look a lot skinnier with this cut, and thats great. Next time I want to lose some pounds I will just cut my hair.  More pie for me!  All is good as long as I look good.  Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality, and a hearty home cooked dinner.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Wrapped like an Egyptian

You've most likely heard my story already, but in case you haven't... I enjoy retelling the ongoing experience.  Just this past Wednesday I was involved in a bicycle collision. A head-on collision with another bicyclist to be exact.  As far as I know the guy is okay but I'm left with 2 fractures on 4th metacarpal, a broken 3rd metacarpal, a fat lip, and a totaled bike.  With the above picture I'm sure you're enjoying the sightly bandage contraption and colorful swollen purple thumb.  I assure you, under the wrap is a very swollen and purple 'hand.'  This upcoming week I am going to enjoy the experience of correctional surgery to properly set my broken bone with two metal pins while trying to muddle through final exams all at the same time. Wish me luck! I suppose I should also try to recover and rehabilitate before my summer field school starts, but I'm unsure about that.
I'm thinking I need a new tattoo now that I'm all hard-core and extreme. This is like a near-death experience!  Anyhow, feel free to send Get Well flowers to me, especially on Wednesday when I get my surgery; or a card. A handmade card. I'd like that.
It has surely proved to be a very interesting end of the year for me.  I might be a little worried about what next year has in store for me though.  Hah! That reminds me, I'm only a year away from graduating with my Bachelors. It feels wonderful to be so close to an achievement like that. Life after the BS degree is a little scary for me; I feel like I'm getting so deep into this education I wonder if I'll make it out alive (at the rate I'm going currently my life expectancy is equivalent to an X Games champion).

Saturday, April 23, 2011

The end is here

I've come to the end of my rope. Which is surprising since I pride myself in being very patient and forgiving.  I don't need all of this nonsense. I suppose there is a reason why I chose to be single for 4 years.  Until someone comes along and proves to me beyond a doubt that its meant to be, I'm probably just going to stay single.
When your relationship is on the rocks and you ask anyone for advice they will probably say something like, "Communicate, be direct with your words.  Tell them exactly what you want." Well I did just just that. I said what I wanted, when I wanted it, and I even gave him a written statement.  I explicitly described everything I expected and I also told him the actions I would take if he failed to fallow through.
What am I supposed to do if he doesn't do what I need him to?
He can eat my dust. I'm gone.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Where to draw the line

I think most gals my age can agree that we would all like to have a serious relationship with a man thats got a few extra years of life experience and maturity. An older guy should have the seasoned personality with responsibility and solidarity a lady needs. We all know that guys of equal or lesser age are pretty much guaranteed to be immature and loose cannons.
Well how come it seems to be the case when I speak with an older man I'm shocked when my expectations are completely shot down? They complain when I don't put out. I don't get that problem from my male peers, at least they know they aren't going to get any.  But these guys, geesh, if I don't show them a new body part every five minutes, they are unsatisfied and leave me in the dust.
At first I thought, well maybe it's their biological clock that has them going 100 miles an hour, but that doesn't explain why I have to be a whore for them.  I can be a bit of a tart from time to time, but its not a 24/7 hobby.  Everyday is not a sexy day; especially not in the mid- to late afternoon. I can be flirtatious in the evening and a bit  cuddly in the morning, but when you buzz me online attempting to provoke some sort of cyber courtship during your lunch break, that is way out of bounds.  A gal like me deserves a lot more class than that.
Not to mention asking me to turn up the heat only makes them look like dirty old creepers.  I suppose I just need to find a way to connect with these gentlemen because its obvious I don't know how. Or I just need to find the right one...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Tips on giving proper affection to Karina

Although this blog is titled otherwise, as you read through it you may notice that it is merely a guide to treating me right.  I'd like to give a brief summary of what a romantic relationship is to me.  I prefer men; I just want to get that out there.  I like the man to be on the manly masculine side because I've got enough estrogen to deal with, thank you very much.  I don't need him to be severely aggressive, but actively jealous and protective are definitely boons.  I want to be your girl, and I want everyone to know that I'm yours and not theirs. I enjoy stroking egos, so if you have a big fat one, prepare to be emotionally pampered.  I don't need to see you everyday, so long-distance relationships work great for me, you just have to show the effort by at least trying to come visit.  Imagine all that freedom you can enjoy by not having to deal with a demanding and needy girl.  A phone call every couple of days will add sunshine to my demeanor.  If you need me to do something for you, just say pleasssseee.  I have a very open communication system; most people overlook this and assume that I'm shut up like the rest of the world.  I'm not a frigid bitch.  If we need to talk about things, then talk!  I want you to be comfortable talking to me about your hopes, dreams, fears, and desires.  There's no reason to keep it a secret from me.  I'm actually very good at reading people, so feel free to NOT bullshit me.  Thats a nice bonus to a relationship with me, I'm really smart so you don't need to blow smoke up my ass. A romantic relationship should be a positive experience for the both of us, it just needs just a little work.
First thing thats most important is common sense; you don't need to make everything overly complicated.  I'm a simple girl, a low maintenance flower that flourishes with very little care.  Most of what you've learned from other women can simply just go out the window. All I need are the basics. It will please you to know that if you have made any kind of mistake in the relationship, I am very forgiving (but I still have a right to be angry).  Please don't use your money to try to win my affection. If I don't get burned out really fast by your frivolous spending habits, I will at least be bored with anything else you stick under my nose in the future (even if it is studded with diamonds).
Make sure not to over do it with the simplicity either.  There is a point where I will start to feel neglected, say, if you stop calling to talk once in a while. Let's face it, a week of nothing but texts isn't quite enough.  That seems like deliberate neglect on your part, and that is no way to treat any girl.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

What NOT to say to an Anthropologist

Time for a little rant, methinks.
Now, if you know anything about me by now you probably know that I am an Anthropologist.  I study cultures from all over the globe.  I study pretty much anything that has to do with the material culture of humans. Someone had the bright idea cross their mind to send me a link to a video. This particular video is a rather bland exposé on Balkan erotic myths.  If someone had sent this video to me on a normal day, I would have been like, "Wow, this is extremely interesting." But for the sake of all that is good, do NOT send this video to me and say "omg i lold so hard at this.'  If you are a mature individual with a mild curiosity for Balkan Erotic Myths you can see the video here.
I can assure you, this video is not a joke.  It is however an artistic rendition of a certain culture's folklore.  The lady in charge of producing this film and several others is Marina Abramović, a Yugoslavian performance artist who has had several performances and exhibitions at the Museum of Modern Art, NY and the Guggenheim Museum, NY.
I may not have my PhD yet, but I can assure you that I do know a thing or two about subjects such as these.  I pride myself in the knowledge that I have acquired in the past few years and I am not afraid to use it.  You therefore, cannot try to brush off the mistake of forwarding the video to me by saying its just a fake piece of internet trash made for the enjoyment of imbeciles across the country. I am not amused.  You will fail to bullshit me.  Also you may note for future reference: when your plan fails to BS me, you will also fail when you try to blame someone else for sending it to me. I understand that I can be scary when  I am legitimately mad but please own up to your own mistake, or else I will just have to brush you off as just merely being an ignorant fool.  People seem to underestimate the depths to which I can see into a person.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Who is this Ophiucus guy anyways?

So I'm a big-time Zodiac fanatic but this big rush towards accepting this 'new' 13th Sun Sign is a bit shocking to me.  I had heard about signs beyond the typical 12 that we know so well, but I've never really fallen into the rave over them; mostly because I assume its a load of crock by a bunch of self-centered astrologers trying to be new age or whatever.  I can't say I'm too happy about having to re-remember all the dates corresponding to each of the signs, and don't get me started on the complete shift in personal Sun Signs.  They say that I fall under the Aquarian constellation. Oh my gawd, no.  Everyone knows Aquarius people are flaky humanistic philosophers, and I enjoy everything opposite of those activities.  I think if I knew nothing about Sun Signs and someone told me I was an Aquarius, explaining all the characteristic traits, I would laugh so hard in their face they would need a towel to wipe away my flying spittle and tears of disbelief.  Other scholars are saying that the new changes only apply to people born after 2003, they will be the ones learning the new system as they grow up. Yeah... So what does that make all of us old fogies? Obsolete and dysfunctional I suppose.  I think this whole new aspect of reading horoscopes is going to do a bit to help convert those of us who didn't feel quite right with their 'old' sign; they now have a new one to disagree with.  I'm not sure how to cope with this change. It's like the disasters in Haiti, I don't think I have the infrastructure to handle the quake.
What I found so far about Ophiucus is that he is based on a mythilogical (or historical; some people feel that he is based on Imhotep, the original engineer of the first great pyramid of Kufu).  Geek mythology places him as a demi-god of sorts responsible for all things related to medicine.  These are looking like bigger and bigger shoes to fill, I hope you're not under the sign of Ophiucus.  These Ophiuciuns are of course expected to have characteristics of being loyal workers with bright ideas and social dispositions.  Other than that, I'm having a hard time finding detailed personality traits; all I seem to find is the bullshit smeared all over today's silly horoscope websites.
Anyways, I've found something that I've become very interested in lately. Now, dieting isn't something you'll see me doing because I just don't like all those restrictions and stigmas that go along with them.  But here is something that I think would be great to get into: Hunter-Gatherer Diet.  Its a nutritional system based on what people have been eating for hundreds of thousands of years.  For the majority of time that anatomically modern humans have existed, they have lived as nomadic Hunter-Gatherer tribes and bands.  They survived that long eating a vast variety of foods and really only experienced dilapidating diseases when they decided to become stationary and domesticate animals.  I think it would be wonderfully refreshing to have my fridge full of lean meats, seafood, fruits, vegetables, and nuts.  I like variety, and this might be what I'm looking for. I think I'm going to need this cookbook as a birthday gift (Pisces, March 1st).