Totem Animal

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change." - Wayne Dyer

I have always been attached to frogs since I can first remember learning about them in Kindergarten, and then fully identifying with them by the time I was 8.  I liked the way frogs looked and lived; some were powerfully toxic and some were just fat pests.  I've always seen the frog to be kind of a laid back being with his permeable skin soaking up the energy around him and using it as he would.
As I come to a point of transition in my life, I look to the world's cutest transformer, the frog.  He goes through physical and mental changes as he grows.  He travels back and forth between the water and the land.  He balances his life on the cusp of water and solid ground.
I'm looking up to this guy, he knows whats up.  Now that I've finished my bachelors degree and I'm moving on to new places, I need to be the frog and take it all in stride.  I'm anxious about what lays ahead for me, and this is because I don't really know what to expect or how to handle it.  I suppose it won't be terribly hard, but it is all going to be such a new pond--you just can't help being a little scared about what else lurks in it.

Mr Pickles

Mr Pickles, beloved pet iguana, 2003-2013

Although he had a very tough beginning, Mr Pickles surely lived long enough to enjoy comforts that most exotic pets don't survive to see.  He came to me in January 2004, bought from a pet store for a few bucks in Las Cruces, NM.  He and I had many disagreements about things, but I admit I was probably way too relaxed with his care.
Fastforward to our trip to Washington in 2006, Mr Pickles became very ill with MBD and fractured several bones including his jaw.  He recovered but we still saw the affects of this last until his final day.  He was always smaller than he should have been, and he had that terribly silly looking overbite.  Today I feel the pain of his loss, and I question whether I did all that I could to give him a happy life.  As a pet mother, I know I made mistakes with him and I regret that, but I don't regret keeping him and caring for him because I knew I could do better than most others.  Caring for an iguana is not easy.  Especially one that gets ill quite often.
Mr Pickles had been deteriorating in health for the past 6 months from an unknown illness. I assume it was some type of cancer based on all of the symptoms.  He passed away in his sleep last night.  This morning he was laid to rest in the back garden with a bushel of strawberries (his favorite thing in the whole damn world).
I can honestly say I learned a lot from Mr Pickles in the 9 years we spent together. I learned that all things in this world deserve our best, even the things that bite and scratch us.  We have to be good and strong people to take all the lashings from our pets in order for us to help them have long and happy lives.
I learned that I could not mold his needs to fit mine and the only I could succeed would be to shape myself to fit his needs.  I did just that and everything was smooth sailing from there.  As a pet parent you have to make sacrifices and you have to be motivated to give everything you can to your pet.  Pet parents must be driven to success by being active and attentive.  You have to find answers when you have none.  All you need is love...? NO! You need strong conviction to be the best.  You need to instill healthy habits in yourself and you need to teach healthy habits to your pets!
Thank you, Mr Pickles, and rest well my little green biter.

This loss has left an empty space in my heart.  Maybe after some time has passed I can move on and welcome more furry babies into my home.

The three amigos

In the past three days I have had some individuals contact me whom I have either lost contact over a long period of time or have had very little conversation with recently.  Three of these people are part of a category of friends I like to jokingly refer to as the Lost Beaus, or secretly refer to as my old personal trainers. If you know what I mean.  Memories I cannot forget have been invading my sleepless nights.  I suppose there must just be something in the air.  I can't see why I would be receiving contact like this all of a sudden and from them specifically.  I have many lost friends that could have contacted me, but no. I guess its just that time of year when people get cabin fever and a little atwitter as well.  Its that time of year to send Karina that love letter you've been dying to get off your chest.
So I'm making a call for papers. To all of you, everyone: its time to send Karina love letters! Secret admirer notes are acceptable as well. Also, send chocolates and flowers. Make sure to attach your fantasies list and a detailed explanation as to why you couldn't resist any longer the need to contact me and express your desires.
How should my response go? My brain, my heart, and my lady boner are all screaming different answers.  Brain says, no ignore it and keep your life simple and uncomplicated I'm tired of thinking things through for you I do enough work at school. Heart says, you should stay open to all possibilities and keep communication open and flowing with everyone, even that magnificent boyfriend of yours. Lady Boner--well, she's not using intelligible language, its more of a gruesome whole-body interpretation of what she wants to do.