Monday, October 22, 2012

Slow in the cold

Its time to complain about the cold weather. And... Okay that's my two cents.
My biggest concern right now is that I have no computer of my own at the moment and I'm really stressing about not having one around me. Its one thing to procrastinate on homework... but it feels really wrong when you are forced to wait until the last minute to do the assignment because you don't have access to a word processor and printer until the hour before the deadline. I have to write these essays longhand and then ride my bike all the way to campus just to type and print them up.  I've been taking this time alone to ponder things like "why do all these TV channels suck ass?" and "why haven't I spent more time with these awesome couches in my living room?" and "Shin splints? No, this is metacarpal splints from writing with a real life pencil." I think my writer's callous is going to make a come back. I haven't seen that thing since 6th grade.  Of course a computer failure would happen at the moment in my life when I have $15 to my name, cabbage soup on the stove, and holes in my clothes.  I'm praying for a swift death, or a winning lotto stub in my street gutter.  I've been preparing for the worst, so if I do become homeless in the next few months I'm ready with tent, outdoor gear, cardboard signs, and canned beans ready to go at any moment. Who needs a computer when you're living under a freeway overpass, right?
I'm glad to be an American. I can honestly say, voting is fun.  Its like taking an exam, only you're choosing the answers... except that the bubbles you fill in don't always seem to make it out in the election.  So maybe its exactly like taking an exam, except you're ridiculed by others if your choice is the winner. But hey, its great being able to use your favorite black ink pen to mark the bubble next to some guy with an awesome last name and thinking to yourself "If I married a man like that, I too would have an awesome last name!"  But aside from the silly little myths I play out in my mind about the political candidates, I also take into consideration things like "am I supporting too many democrats... or republicans? What if this guy turns out to be a serial killer?!" Well the serial killer thing is fine I suppose, because I do support the death penalty; that would be putting my values to work in my own country.  I like to have balance in my ballot. Not too many women, not too many democrats. Not too many religious zealots, and not too many loose cannons.  None of the persons I can vote for are not going to get me out of my social injustices and poverty so I might as well have a good time filling in those stupid little bubbles!
A writer writes.  Being away from a digital screen has sparked my imagination in a way that brings back memories of grade school and spending countless hours creating stories about monsters and vampires and sultry love scenes.  This is how the mind of a child is formed while being immersed in Anne Rice culture from as early as 11 years old.  I don't doubt that it has lead to the very provocative and often vulgar way I operate now, but it has also created a sturdy base for intellectual prowess.  I like to think that my energetic youth as a bookworm has created me as the scholar I am today.  Books are bad ass and when I get out of this stupid restrictive lifestyle as a college student I am going to read some more books. I miss reading books the way I used to... Now I only have time to read the assignments of my professors, reading and grading freshman essays, and reading my own essays for proof.  I've lost the ability to sit down and let my eyes caress a raunchy pulp romance paperback and let my olfactory sense get high on the smell of ink and paper.  I'm frustrated, I'm stagnating, and I'm really antsy to get going with something of my choosing.